DAY 30

I am in utter disbelief of how much better I feel. I have had some quiet mourning and some depression, but I still made it. I hate cigarettes because of what they did to me. I hate them because I became so dependent on them. Jennifer is doing even better than me. She is on day 32. She helps me when I am depressed for what ever reason, and I help her when she is depressed for what ever reason. We go good together. Yay!


THUMB UPDATE:
I just took this shot of my thumb. It was fine after a few days before. Yesterday it started hurting a little. Then it swelled, turned purple and eventually burst. Blood poured out of it. I have treated it with Hydrogen Peroxide, Betadine, Mercur-o-clear, ice and elevation. If you have any suggestions on what I should do, E-Mail me. Thanks for reading.

Dive

Went to a dive. Friend's birthday. 40th. She wanted to go to a dive...you know, karaoke, beer and cigarettes. Rednecks. TIGHT Jeans (32s that should be 36s-with the shirt tucked down below the belly fat) and "cowboy" boots. Thing is...I did not want a cigarette the entire 6 hours I was there listening to boot skootin' and girls screaming while dry humping each other. I actually Never want to smoke again...It made me feel a little sickly. I am not going to smoke again. I am probly not gonna go to a dive again either. (I used to go to this dive~when I smoked...and had a perfectly good time!). It's like cigarettes hypnotized me. Not any more.

Hard little workers!

People are always like "Ewwww! Maggots!", but maggots are really hard workers. They exhibit teamork too! Bonus: they are working together for their own selfish motives (i.e. Growth, yummy decayed carcass) but most maggots win. There are not a few at the top that have it all (as far as maggots go). Just lots of simple little maggots eating things that we think are gross. Flipping over a dead squirrel with a stick. Yep. There they are.

Can you believe? We made it!

It has been a long long time, but Jennifer and I have made it without smoking for 20 days. I had a dream about smoking last night. I then woke up, feeling a little ashamed for smoking in my dream, took in a deep breath and...did not cough! I would not have made it if it were not for Jennifer. She is now on day 22. A much stronger person than I, she encouraged me to not give up or give in. I am eternally grateful to her.

If you are going to quit smoking, do so "cold turkey" because any other method only prolongs the painand suffering. Expect to gain some serious weight because of quitting. Drink lots of water because it will help with the eating AND coughing. Expect to cough MORE than when you smoked. This is simply your lungs getting rid of the junk via mucus. Quit ONLY when you can do so with a close friend who loves you no matter what. You will need a lot of love to get you through it. I LOVED to smoke for so many reasons, but if I can get through it, I know anyone can.

WE MADE IT!

{*_*}

Well, The nights are difficult now. After like 10:00 pm I start having tremors. My legs draw up and I get extremely anxious. I become unable to think or speak coherently. The daytime has greatly improved. I think I have got most of this crap out of my system. Jennifer just told me that she feels happier. I feel better. I am going to make it.