As a child, my interests in things occult developed independent of my interests in ufos and aliens, but as an adult, I have found these subjects converge via conspiracy theories and spirituality. I have seen enough, read enough, watched enough and thought enough to get the feeling that there is definitely someone controlling every aspect of our lives. I have also seen enough, read enough, watched enough and thought enough on the subject to be totally convinced that on some level our world is nothing more than illusions created by ourselves. I have stumbled over the interference patterns created by these two distinct points of view and, though I cannot find steady ground I think that I have discovered something very simple and something that has always beat me in life. I think that I have discovered "Self Discipline".
I discovered a book called "Self discipline in 10 days" and found it hard for me to read the first few pages. I kept reading and rereading slowly till I finally got to the main part of the book... the "Exercises", where I completely stopped reading it. I know that the things contained within are going to be very hard to take. I have done this my whole life as it turns out. Procrastinating. Thinking of excuses why not to do something. Beating myself up with "Funny" comments. The list goes on. Well, how does this all relate? Well, I have found that my lack self discipline has perhaps been the reason that I was always looking for truth. Looking for reasons to NOT go to college. Looking for reasons to NOT diet. Looking for reasons why I am perfect the way I am. Looking for reasons why I should be appreciated for the special person I am. Looking for reasons why I deserve better than everyone else. Looking for reasons why I should be given the benefit of the doubt. Excuses. I have found that as I have applied the small amount of knowledge that I have gotten from the book, I have felt better, started REALLY performing well at work, completed many other small goals around the house and have had a generally good feeling and sense of well being lately. I am not here to push someone's book. I just happened to come across this one. I would be willing to bet that most books about self discipline say the same things in different ways. I just feel that maybe all of these things tie in with the "victim mentality".
I de-pitted like 10 dates the other day and, upon de-pitting them, I immediately grabbed the seeds and thought to myself "hmm... I could grow these and start a date palm farm and live off of that money. I could quit my job." Immediately I went looking for a way to get out of work. Like I think I don't have to work or something. Like I am entitled to just make money for being the amazing unique individual I am. I got really irritated with myself and threw the seeds away. I am not a hoarder, but I think I have tendencies to do so. Clinging to the past when my childhood was easy and worry free. Saving things so that they will increase in value. Wanting to get rich quick. Oh well...
I can't help but notice the beautiful blue sky dotted by the so-called contrails, and I can't help but notice freemasonry imagery on television and in movies. I have started toying around with the idea that a lot of these things are just illusions thrown into our reality to make it interesting, but if you dig into the illusions, they grow and struggle to appear more real, but delving into them is like digging a bottomless pit. Does anyone else feel that these "signs" are really just our subconscious thoughts projected into the universe and made manifest on the outskirts of reality and outside of most people's perception and awareness?
I discovered a book called "Self discipline in 10 days" and found it hard for me to read the first few pages. I kept reading and rereading slowly till I finally got to the main part of the book... the "Exercises", where I completely stopped reading it. I know that the things contained within are going to be very hard to take. I have done this my whole life as it turns out. Procrastinating. Thinking of excuses why not to do something. Beating myself up with "Funny" comments. The list goes on. Well, how does this all relate? Well, I have found that my lack self discipline has perhaps been the reason that I was always looking for truth. Looking for reasons to NOT go to college. Looking for reasons to NOT diet. Looking for reasons why I am perfect the way I am. Looking for reasons why I should be appreciated for the special person I am. Looking for reasons why I deserve better than everyone else. Looking for reasons why I should be given the benefit of the doubt. Excuses. I have found that as I have applied the small amount of knowledge that I have gotten from the book, I have felt better, started REALLY performing well at work, completed many other small goals around the house and have had a generally good feeling and sense of well being lately. I am not here to push someone's book. I just happened to come across this one. I would be willing to bet that most books about self discipline say the same things in different ways. I just feel that maybe all of these things tie in with the "victim mentality".
I de-pitted like 10 dates the other day and, upon de-pitting them, I immediately grabbed the seeds and thought to myself "hmm... I could grow these and start a date palm farm and live off of that money. I could quit my job." Immediately I went looking for a way to get out of work. Like I think I don't have to work or something. Like I am entitled to just make money for being the amazing unique individual I am. I got really irritated with myself and threw the seeds away. I am not a hoarder, but I think I have tendencies to do so. Clinging to the past when my childhood was easy and worry free. Saving things so that they will increase in value. Wanting to get rich quick. Oh well...
I can't help but notice the beautiful blue sky dotted by the so-called contrails, and I can't help but notice freemasonry imagery on television and in movies. I have started toying around with the idea that a lot of these things are just illusions thrown into our reality to make it interesting, but if you dig into the illusions, they grow and struggle to appear more real, but delving into them is like digging a bottomless pit. Does anyone else feel that these "signs" are really just our subconscious thoughts projected into the universe and made manifest on the outskirts of reality and outside of most people's perception and awareness?
