Cellphone Etiquete

0. Be ready when the other person says "Hello". Don't make them wait.
1. Speak directly into the microphone with the earpiece on your ear.
2. Project your voice so as to be heard by someone that is not psychic.
3. Enunciate your words clearly so that words like "One" do not sound like "throw-un" (for example).
4. Use the proper telephone number rhythm. Not too fast, not sarcastically toooo ssslllloooowww!
5. Be AT LEAST as nice as the person you are talking to.
6. Identify yourself as many times as you asked without any pushback.
7. Don't start the call with a list of demands. One thing at a time.
8. If the person is unable to assist you don't dispute, don't be rude and don't call back immediately.
9. Don't make an attempt at sarcasm, you are not funny and no one cares.
10. Don't say that you are going to call your lawyer. You don't have one.
11. Don't ask for a supervisor. You just blew your chances by being an a-hole.
12. Don't ever demand satisfaction
13. Don't ever expect instant gratification
14. Don't ever expect monetary compensation for your "Inconveniences".
15. Don't ever think that the person you are talking to likes their job.
16. Don't ever think that the person you are talking to actually cares about your situation.
17. Don't ever think that the person you are chatting up is actually enjoying your conversation.
18. Don't assume that the person that you are talking to is not taking your name and number for their own personal reasons. :^)
19. Be polite. Say please and thank you.
20. Don't just hang up. Say "Bye", "Have a good day", or whatever and don't be rude.


Keep your kids quiet.
Roll up your windows.
Off with speakerphone.
Speak up.
Speak clearly.
Provide your FIRST AND LAST NAME when asked.
Be ready to go when you call.
Don't multi-task.
Don't eat.
Don't drive.
Be prepared, have pencil and paper ready if you are calling for information.
Don't say "Hello" after every sentence.
Expect to get a call while sleeping if you are ON CALL.
Don't tell people your life story.
Be sweet.
Be polite.
Be courteous.
Be helpful.
Make momma proud.