TOO BIG TO WIN

I haven't been active lately.  Work has drained me somehow.  DDP yoga was a little too intense for me at my size.  It hurt me too much or I was doing it too hard.  Anyway I was in a lot of pain for a while.  I have little energy and motivation.  My friend recently did a 5K.  Hearing this news semi-motivated me.  He did the couch210K thing.  I had heard about it and was going to start it, but when I experimented with just running, I couldn't take the pain in my legs.  I can handle pain, but this was too much, like something was wrong.  Plus I didn't want to hurt my knees.  I have seen what happens and it isn't pretty.

UPDATE: Good news!  I have figured out that the pain I was dealing with in my legs [and later both ankles] hasn't got anything to do with DDP yoga being too intense.  I am a BIG courier driving a COROLLA.  The only thing I don't really like about the corolla is not enough foot room.  My left knee presses against the door handle contours and my right knee presses into the console.  Without the ample room for my legs, my right ankle takes a beating getting into position to put my foot on the accelerator.

I am still in pain, but aware of what is causing it.  I am looking for another job and looking forward to DDP yoga again.  An old friend of mine is doing quite well with it and is now offering instruction.  Thanks for reading this uninteresting drivel.

Roleplaying versus Wargaming

Wargaming has been around for a very long time, but I believe Chainmail was the first official "roleplaying" game with rules, miniatures and dice. This later became what we all know as D&D and then, later, AD&D, etc.  Many people have stated their opinion about the many editions of ad&d, usually hating one or another to the point that there have been countless other "homebrew" games, some clearly based on ad&d and others featuring totally new rules and backgrounds.
Of the many design elements of ad&d that inspired debate and redesign is combat...COMBAT!  Wasn't D&D a derivative of WARgaming?
Instead of taking ad&d and making it "better", why not take a really good set of wargaming rules and add elements of roleplaying to them to the point that it is geared towards roleplaying but can always fall back on the wargame aspect.  Combat rules include task resolution, action and reaction, resistance and so on.
This is a major reason why I have a hard time designing my RPG. I started with the roleplaying, then went to add the wargaming, but wasn't pleased with the results entirely or they didn't quite fit in with the rest of the rules. I went looking at new wargame rules and sort of reverse engineered RPGs out of those rules, but wasn't happy with those results. Things always got hairy when I went to combine roleplaying with wargaming in one game system.  The two types of games are sort of diametrically opposed. They are like oil and water...at least at a very fundamental level.
Roleplaying is artistic, free, silly at times, creative, social, intellectual and fun. Wargaming is bound by rules, serious, defined by and limited to physics and belief in science, player versus player and there are clear winners and losers. Wargaming is strategic, social and intellectual as well as (depending on the players) silly at times and fun.

The secret has been for me to find the perfect set of wargame rules to base a RPG on that also has room for my mystic power/reality warping rules.

Here is my list of demands:
allows for the belief that anything is possible

allows for reality to be warped in rare circumstances by characters

does not force combat as the only option unless it is

I go, you go piece by piece, NOT like warhammer

d6 only but many dice are okay, just not TOO many maybe max 10 but that is rare...

1d6 per soldier or vehicle
Easy to remember rules
Quick playing combat
Rules that make combat scary and deadly

rules that take terrain and cover seriously

close combat more than just high roll wins it needs more flavor to it to make fantasy battles more tense and colorful-I like Warhammer 40k assaults.

NO HIT POINTS, wounded characters are casualties that may or may not be dead
No skill lists
Character sheet has all you need except dice
Miniatures optional unless it is an actual battlefield
Universal rules
Single roll or as few as possible for task resolution/difficulty and quality of success

Free-form character details that don't feel like they are just tacked onto a wargame piece

really fun vehicle combat, including air and space/orbital
no stealth in space

possibility of different "factions" with their own special rules

activation, initiative and morale in one roll OR more recently, I have considered not at all (see below)

I have looked at:

Kryomek (love the background)

Stargrunt II (love it!)

Force on Force/Tomorrow's War (freaking love it!)

FAD (I may love this more than stargrunt II!)

Jim Wallman's Man at arms (love all his stuff!)

StarWars miniature battles

Beamstrike

VOR: the malestrom
Chainmail
Axis & Allies
Battletech
Aerotech
Full Thrust
Warhammer Fantasy
Warhammer 40k

I know there are others, I just can't think of them

I am currently looking at CROSSFIRE: Company level WWII wargame.

It is a little different and is forcing me to rethink some things that I have simply always taken for granted in roleplaying games AND wargames rules.  This game seems to make you forget about the rules, but I don't think you could call it a rules light game.  I believe that there is GREAT potential for this game to be the one I was looking for.  I'll put it this way... I haven't had a lot of interest in playing WWII games before, even though I wanted the rules to work for WWII games.  After reading only a little about this game, I would love to play WWII.  I have found many homebrew rules for playing Crossfire in the modern era as well as in the future.  Many people love vehicle combat as I do, and have homebrew'd more vehicle rules for Crossfire as well.  It is too early to tell if it will work for my needs, but I'd say this one is great as it stands now.  It is out of print, though, but there may be a new, revised version to come out some time (it is in the works).

BLURRED LINES: I CAN HAZ UR SEX

I admit the first time I heard it I liked the music but I couldn't hear the lyrics too well I was driving a delivery van at 11pm with the window down. After hearing it a few thousand times I had already decided that the song is not just "rapey". The "fun" dance quality to the music with the lyrical content makes it evil. Other songs about rape seem to indicate that it is wrong or bad and not normal, plus they have an appropriate musical sound. This one creepily makes rape sound like it is natural and fun for all.

 I post this upon watching a YouTube review of this song. I pretty much agree with what the reviewer said only I think I'm a little more bothered than he is. But he hadn't read the YOUTUBE COMMENTS on his video yet.  You know, sometimes I get this sort of spiritual high and an overwhelming feeling of optimism  (I have been called "positive Pete") that lasts pretty much until I happen to read internet people speaking their minds about stuff. Well, I have lost that optimistic outlook this morning. I read just a few comments about the review saying that the song isn't "rapey".  Apparently, if a girl says no, she really doesn't mean no, she just wants to be chased. She means yes. She likes the attention. She really wants to put out for you. If you keep on forcing yourself on her she will eventually give in.

It could never be that she just likes music and dancing (only fun at home in movies) and wants to have a night with her friends. It could never be that she finally thinks that you must be genuine because you are trying so hard.  You must really want to be her man and possibly marry her.
I get it. Some people have nothing else going for them but to rape girls, but do we need to encourage it? Someone clearly does since this garbage has been shoved down our throats repeatedly.  It hurts!  Someone make it stop.

Everybody get up  ooh  Everybody get up  ooh  Hey, hey, hey   Hey, hey, hey   Hey, hey, hey

Okay, we're up.  What do you want?  Horses eat hay!

If you can't hear what I'm trying to say   If you can't read from the same page   Maybe I'm going deaf,    maybe I'm going blind   Maybe I'm out of my mind

Just because someone brushes you off doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you.  Just because some dude doesn't want to be talked to doesn't mean that you are a dirt bag.  If the dude says "I am not in the mood to talk, bro", you leave the dude alone.  You understand that this dude isn't in a mood to be sociable with just anyone right now.  You respect that.  He just doesn't want to talk now.  The same is true for if a girl doesn't want to talk to you.  Well, you are a dirt bag if you keep on trying.  It isn't that you are deaf.  It isn't that you are blind (I assume this means blind to the visual ques that she doesn't want any from you) or out of your mind.  You have one thing on your mind and you will not take no for an answer.  No you aren't crazy.  She simply doesn't want none...at least from you...at least not now.

OK now he was close, tried to domesticate youBut you're an animal, baby it's in your natureJust let me liberate youHey, hey, heyYou don't need no papersHey, hey, heyThat man is not your makerAnd that's why I'm gon' take a good girl

I assume, from the perspective of the singer/songwriter that he has at least had a conversation with the girl the song is about, long enough to know that she was in a serious relationship with another guy and that things went sour.  He equates her with a caged animal needing to be "liberated", then talks about "papers"(not married and doesn't need a divorce?) and "That man is not your maker".  I can only assume that means that she wasn't dating her dad, god or jesus(?).  So, since she isn't with that man, the singer/songwriter is "gon' TAKE a good girl".  I'm not sure why these qualities make her a "good girl".
1.) She is single
2.) She has been saying NO and giving visual ques that she isn't interested.  All signs that he chooses to ignore.

I know you want it I know you want it I know you want it You're a good girl

So single girls that are not interested and show that they are not interested are "good girls".  The singer/songwriter must be a "bad boy".  Good girls like bad boys.

Can't let it get past me  You're far from plastic  Talk about gettin blasted  I hate these blurred lines

So he notices that you are "real" and not a phony.  That can mean different things to different people, but I'm not sure what he means with "gettin blasted".  I can imagine that it is intended to have dual meanings or something and that it sounds provocative...high art.  Here we have it: "I HATE THESE BLURRED LINES".  Nothing in the song indicates that she said "no" with a smile and a wink while looking at his crotch or whispering in his ear "if you want me you'll have to come get me".  The song says that she brushes him off.  Brushing off isn't an open invitation and it doesn't mean yes.  At best it is being nice and not bitchy while telling a guy "no thanks, but thanks for asking, you made me feel good about myself" and at worst it is a smack in the face for being a dirt bag.

I know you want itI know you want itI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me

Okay, so they danced and she "grabbed" him.  I would say that if she "grabbed" his crotch, the song wouldn't have been written, so interpreting "grabbed" as in holding someone like you would while dancing in a club.  That could mean lots of things, but the club dancing I have seen in my po-dunk little town has looked pretty dirty, so I can understand if the guy was dancing with a chick and she is dirty dancing with him that he'd be horny.  But here, the singer/songwriter thinks that dancing like that means that the girl wants to "get nasty" (do "it"?).  According to him, she can barely keep from just doing the guy right there on the dance floor.  We ALL know that dancing isn't what it used to be.

What do they make dreams forWhen you got them jeans onWhat do we need steam forYou the hottest gal that In the placeI feel so luckyHey, hey, heyYou wanna hug meHey, hey, heyWhat rhymes with hug me?Hey, hey, heykiss meheyheyhey

That's a nice comment about a girl wearing jeans and about how she's the hottest girl there.  I'll admit.  Paying a complement is a good thing, but then he just gets lazy with the lyrics.  What girl doesn't like a guy goin' "HEY!" at her repeatedly?  "I feel so lucky"-yeah lucky she hasn't smacked your face for continuing to proposition her for sex.

OK now he was close, tried to domesticate youBut you're an animal, baby it's in your natureJust let me liberate youHey, hey, heyYou don't need no papersHey, hey, heyThan man is not your makerHey, hey, heyAnd that's why I'm gon' take a good girlI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itYou're a good girlCan't let it get past meYou're far from plasticTalk about gettin blastedI hate these blurred linesI know you want itI hate them linesI know you want itI hate them linesI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me

Copy/Paste + "I hate them lines"

One thing I ask youLet me be the one you back that ass into

Classic.

Yo, from Malibu, to Paris boYeah, had a bitch, but she ain't bad as youSo hit me up when you passing throughI'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two

Here she is called a "bitch".  I understand this word isn't always bad, but the use of it here in a pop song that lots of people will be dancing to is inappropriate since not everyone feels that way.  The singer/songwriter says he has been with a girl before, in fact he has "had" one which I can only assume means that he has had sex with one (based on this song's content it was probably rape too), and the compliment here is that the girl he had before isn't as attractive as she is (they never are).  I guess that could be a nice thing to say, but why not say something like "I didn't know there could be anyone out there as pretty as you are to me" (I wasn't even trying on that).  Now, here comes the part that makes me feel gross.  He says next time you are in town or whatever, stop by my place and I'll do you with my enormous dong.  Unless he's talking about literally tearing her ass in two with something else big(?).  That sounds more like a threat, but at least it is simply an invitation and not begging, but this is just the point in the song where, I mean they already repeated almost the whole thing, the next point is that the singer/songwriter has a big d.  What girl doesn't dream of that?  All these things are being danced to by little kids.  Just saying.  Don't forget, also, that the singer/songwriter hates "them lines" and says that they are blurred, meaning "I CAN HAZ UR SEX".

Swag on, even when you dress casualI mean it's almost unbearableIn a hundred years not dare would I, from a far sidelet you pass me by.

I guess this isn't a bad thing to say.  It's kind of nice actually.  "you look nice even in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt! How could I resist?"

Nothing like your last guy, he too square for youHe don't smack that ass and pull your hair like thatSo I, just watch and wait for you to salute and choose this pimp'Im a nice guy, but don't get if confused, this pimpin'

Now we are getting back to the sinister stuff.  I am not a prude and I "get" the appeal of rough sex (It makes you feel like you are strong and virile and manly if you are a guy, and I guess it has a similar feel for women...?), but to assume that a girl wants rough sex when you aren't in a relationship with her is pretty sick.  Also, it is made clear (upon close inspection) that this isn't a guy wanting a relationship.  He is pimpin'.  At least here, he says that he's waiting to be given the clearance first.  The important thing, though is the title of the track is blurred lines.  The guy doesn't seem to know when she's saying no, how's he gonna know when she says yes?  She probably won't say yes and he'll just wait till she is alone and just rape her.  What is a salute anyway?  Is that a nod?  Is it a smile?  Speaking to you?  I know this guy isn't an officer in the US ARMED FORCES, so if you are going to talk about "blurred lines", then you should be more clear about what YOU mean.  Are you going to rape a girl when she looks at you and smiles or shakes your hand or literally gives you a salute?  Does that mean that you will rape her if she gives you a "stiffy"?

Shake the vibe, get down, get upDo it like it hurt, like it hurt, does it hurt, does it hurtWhat you don't like work

This is just plain awful.  I assume this is either in his imagination or he is actually raping her now.  She may have had a momentary lapse of judgement or something, who knows.  Now he's doing things that might hurt her (tearing her ass in two?) and things (work) that she seems to be expressing that she doesn't like.

Baby can you breathe? I got this from JamaicaIt always works for me Dakota to Decatur, uh huhNo more pretendingHey, hey, heyCause now you winningHey, hey, heyHere's our beginning

Okay at this point, they are finished or at least he is finished.  Not sure, but it seems like the reference is to weed or something, I mean what did he get from Jamaica that always works for him?  So she got free weed out of all this and she should be grateful ("Cause now you winning").  I am not sure why the singer/songwriter says "here's our beginning" AFTER he has raped her.  Maybe he means that she is his ho, after all he said earlier that he was only pimpin'.  She would have to be made of plastic and not have feelings to want to be in a relationship with someone that wants to hurt her with his big d, but hey, crazier things have happened.  Right?  I mean, really.  He did say he was a nice guy and all.

I always wanted a good girlI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itYou're a good girlCan't let it get past meYou're far from plasticTalk about gettin blastedI hate these blurred linesI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me
Everybody get upEverybody get upHey, hey, heyHey, hey, heyHey, hey, hey

Copy/Paste.  Drag it on out.  Now it is out there.  Flying though the universe.  Some advanced alien species will some day hear this and be very afraid of life in the galaxy.  They may even come searching for us to destroy our civilization.  Jeez-us, good riddance.  Anyway, that's it: Blurred Lines.  I even hate the name of that song. It should be called "no means yes" or "I want to rape you" or "I love myself so much I must be god so as an omnipotent being I now rape you and you like it".

I'll end this by saying that it isn't blurred lines and it isn't mixed signals. 

Even "maybe" means

NO!