ATTENTION!

I have successfully quit smoking and now I am fat, fat, fat. I swear, I have one great big oral fixation don't I? Don't answer that.
Anyway, I am sick of being called names. I have been called many names.
(The Crisco™ Kid, Fatty, Big'un and my personal favorite: Fatboy.) I answer to them all. I am going to make the biggest change of my life and I am posting it all on the web for you to see and laugh at. I hope you enjoy your asses off. No really! Check out my weight loss blog now. Thanks for reading!
Oh, yeah! My thumb is fine! Thanks for asking! (that was meant to make you feel bad for not really asking or caring). {*_*}

Almost ready...

Yep, I weigh 380. I never thought I could weigh this much. I do have a large frame and "big bones" so I don't necessarily look like someone that weighs 380 typically. I'm not that tall so most of it is just plain fat. Seeing the actual number made me really want to do something. Blogging the journey from smoking really helped me, so I figured I'll blog the journey from "what can I get ya', bigun?". It might help someone else too.

I plan to start off by not eating for 3 days. This is merely because I feel that I need it emotionally and spiritually. I am so dependant on food, I need to develop my other interests. You will probably be privy to a lot of blogs on this journey because when I stopped smoking, I started really eating. I play guitar too and I would really like to play seriously, so I should devote more time to my actual playing instead of thinking about playing while I eat buffalo wing flavored pretzel nuggets (Holy crap, those are so freaking good!).

Tonight, Jennifer and I will meet with a friend who had gastric bypass. She has lost a lot of weight already. I have thought about the surgery and I am not comfortable with being put under again. I almost died last time. I would rather do it the old fashioned way, because I am an old fashioned guy. In a week I will probably be freaking out over food. Time will, as always, tell...

Very soon

Yep, it is almost time. I went to the doctor to find out what is wrong with me. Nothing. I am just fat. More self discipline? Probably so. Will talk soon. Here is a picture for your amusement.

Just one of those days

It is absolutely beautiful today. The wind is blowing just enough to make the wind chimes jingle pleasantly. It's hot as hell out there, but it feels good inside with the air conditioning. It feels good to get out. I crave fish.

Not yet...

Nope. Not yet. for lunch I had a PB & J. Diet Dr. Pepper, and a little debbie (if I told you which one you would laugh). If this were not enough, I also gobbled down half a bag of Combos™ and 2/3 bag of mini Reese's' peanut butter cups. Sheesh. I have a problem. What can I say. I did not always do things like this. It becomes a comfort obsession. Like a meditation. Some people expand their consciousness, I expand my ass. My ankles are only moderately swollen now and very little discomfort! Hooray!

butt

Well, now...it's been a long time!

Yeah, it has been. Still fat. Check out my fat blog. Nothing out_o'my/feeNGRS for a while...
Still GD M-erF'in confused. Awaiting for some kind of sign from god to continue or stop what I am doing. You know...lead me in the right direction. I don't know why...I believe that God does not care about such things. Why would an omnipotent creator be the least bit concerned with my puny pathetic little life? Who knows? (Rhetorical question) God is this nothing/everything. We are merely small fractions of total awareness limited by our body. Is it this simple? Is Jesus the one and only path? Is it Mohamed? Who knows? Maybe it is neither one or either one. I don't think that it matters. Why am I so confused and yet so sure? Who knows? I am definitely a spiritual freak. I have become aware that I am lazy. Extremely paranoid too. This is due to my frustration with god. Life has sucked sometimes. The crappy things that happen, when it rains it pours. Why doesn't it stop raining? Flooding? I hate the rain.

getting up the nerve

OK, I am a fat dude. I've been fat since childhood. It sucks to be fat. I am not going to spend a lot of time on this blog telling sob stories. They just make me mad. No promises that a sob story or two will not come out later!

I worked on my feet for a very long time in retail, surveying, light industrial and CNA work. I ate enough to maintain my fatness. After leaving the ER to work for more money and better benefits in customer service on the phones, I began gaining weight. The struggle became increasingly harder as time progressed. Sitting in a cubicle taking calls. Smoking increased. Health decreased. Things got even worse after I quit smoking. To satiate my oral fixation, I ate more than ever. This caused me to gain enough weight that my clothes ceased to fit. The stress of life must have got to me because I began having swelling of the feet and ankles and restless legs. Fearing that my heart was in bad shape, I took a long lunch and went to the walk-in clinic. My blood pressure was fine. Thank god! What a freaking relief. Well Now I'm peeing a lot because I was put on some kind of water pill. Great...I feel like an old man.

I will make a few predictions here. I will lose at least 50 pounds of fat by the end of this year. When will I start?