AD&D

Yep. It sounds about right. Doesn't it? I post like once a month-if that. Well anyway, I did go see someone that has diagnosed me as having what many people in the United States of America and abroad call Attention Deficit Disorder. I am not 100% sure of this because of my extreme conspiratorialist mind. I started having problems that were interfering with my life over a year ago that only got worse with time. Then my ankles swelled up and...well, heart problems was my first concern. Turns out my ticker is fine. Being 30 sucks though. I think that my problem is that I don't want to grow up for some reason. I can't just suck it up like a good boy and just do it (be an adult). Well, after being taken to an underground base in NM and given hellish electroshock therapy and after the insertion of a parasitic extra-dimentional reptilian into my chest cavity, I am feeling better. Oh, yeah! I am also on meds. I got Jacob's L-Adderall. I was so freaking worried about it, but it ultimately came down to the fact that my problems were affecting my work greatly and especially the trust of my therapist that I was not going to become a mind controlled zombie or something. Well...I actually feel a little better. I can concentrate enough to sort of finish a project to a point now. I never knew that I was so easily distracted, but now I have to set reminders to stop working, not because I feel that I am running out of time and I lose track of it trying to concentrate and finish a sentence, but because I am actually working and doing a GREAT job. I recently got my highest commendation at work so far in 2 years. Another big thing is that I don't catch myself getting side tracked as much. While using the computer, I would routinely have up to 10 Internet explorer pages up at a time-all with different things that I was side tracked to AND from. Now It is not like that as much. I am definitely seeing some drawbacks such as an unpredictable lapse in the pills effectiveness. If I have any kind of stress, I get a little overwhelmed sometimes, but this has been one of the things I started experiencing 2 years ago anyway. It HAS gotten a lot better because I only want to bash my head into a wall about one time a week instead of about once every other day. I am NOT going to say that it is the right thing for me at this time and I am definitely NOT going to say that it is good for anyone at all. I am NOT convinced that it is not somehow part of the conspiracy somehow, be it mind control or simply killing us off with toxins on ANY kind. I do NOT want to be on this drug for a long time. Even if there are no other options.