I can see that my struggle with weight has really came to a head recently. I have had some strange feelings about smoking lately that I just don't fully understand. I have become a voracious eater. I am always grazing like a fat bovine with the slightly larger cranium and the nervous expression. I counted my points today (Flex) and I went over again. Not by much, but I am weaker than before. I went to the gym today as I have been doing for the last 3 months and I can see that I am not making progress like I want to. I get frustrated when I think about what I have put into my health only to find that my health has actually gotten worse since I quit! High bloodpressure, swollen ankles for unknown reasons, pancrease issues, potential for diabetes and I'm fucking weak now! I guess I just got old while I was quitting... or did quitting make me get old? I know it had it's moments where I thought I was going to die. I guess It's not healthy to question that and just be thankful that I can breathe. Thanks for reading.
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