Sunday, May 3, 2015

AYO



I need you [x8]

We poppin' like ayo
All my bitches got real hair chilling with the top down
Screaming like ayo
I'mma take her ass down when she bring her friend around
Fuck ‘em both like ayo
I'm a bougie ass nigga left the roof at home
We popping like ayo, ayo, ayo
But don't be acting like I need you



Ahhh! Aye babe this my new shit
I'm the black Richie Rich with the roof missing
If it don't make dollars it don't make sense
Z, wake up like I gotta get it
And I got an engine full of trunk space
I get money three ways, fucking bitches three ways
7 different foreigns plus she's no hablé
But I make that bitch walk with some cheesecake
Yeah, I'm the coldest nigga, icy
Lookin in the mirror like I wish I can be me
She too into me, I'm more into money
My hobby's her body, that pussy's my lobby
I'mma eat it, I'mma eat it
I won't lie, hope my dick's too conceited
Uh, told her she's my wife for the weekend
But don't be acting like I need you cause we poppin' like



Ayo
All my bitches got real hair chilling with the top down
Screaming like ayo
I'mma take her ass down when she bring her friend around
Fuck ‘em both like ayo
I'm a bougie ass nigga left the roof at home
We popping like ayo, ayo, ayo
But don't be acting like I need you



I'm in a Rolls, you don't roll right
My chain shine brighter than a strobe light
I'm tryna fuck Coco, this don't concern Ice
If I motor boat, she gonna motorbike
A nigga ain't worried about nothin'
Rehabilitation just had me worried about fucking
Money, decision-making only worried about stuntin
She worried about me, her nigga worried about cuffin'
I wanna see her body (bodyyyy)
And she said get inside of me
I wanna feel you baby (yeahhh)
Just bring the animal right out of me
We lovin', she love it
Especially when I go down on her
Now we fucking, she thugging
Getting loud (cause we poppin' like)



Ayo
All my bitches got real hair chilling with the top down
Screaming like ayo
I'mma take her ass down when she bring her friend around
Fuck ‘em both like ayo
I'm a bougie ass nigga left the roof at home
We popping like ayo, ayo, ayo
But don't be acting like I need you



Huh, look, alright
Now I can spot your bitch from a mile away
Valentine in that pussy, it's a holiday
(Uh, you losin' money, I win mills Dr. J
She's gonna follow my lead, Simon Says)
Paper, paper, I'm riding scrapers in California
Car smell like ammonia, we got that stank on us
(Never been an outcast that stank on ya
From the ghetto but my bitch like Apollonia)
We in the hood, tatted like a Mexican
Car too fast, give a fuck about pedestrians
(In my section less niggas, more lesbians)
Got your bitch, I'm that nigga
(Yeah we poppin' like)



Ayo
All my bitches got real hair chilling with the top down
Screaming like ayo
I'mma take her ass down when she bring her friend around
Fuck ‘em both like ayo
I'm a bougie ass nigga left the roof at home
We popping like ayo, ayo, ayo
But don't be acting like I need you



This that fly shit, King shit only
Drop top, no roof - ahhh!


"Being famous is amazing when it's for ur music and talent. I'm tired of being famous for a mistake I made when i was 18. I'm cool & over it!" ~ Chris Brown


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In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 1 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at ChillingEffects.org.
In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 3 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at ChillingEffects.org.
In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 3 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at ChillingEffects.org.
In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 1 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at ChillingEffects.org.
In response to a complaint we received under the US Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we have removed 1 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read the DMCA complaint that caused the removal(s) at ChillingEffects.org.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

the big payoff

I started working in healthcare in 2000.  I was an Emergency Room Transporter at my local county hospital.  It was a job that I got because I needed one badly at the time and my mother knew someone in HR there that pulled some strings.  It was very low pay and the work was dirty, dirty, dirty.  I saw some cool stuff, though and I actually liked the busy environment, plus I felt like I was doing something that mattered.  I hated being *just* a transporter.  I didn't want to be an EMT, because the hours for that kind of work are horrible.  I wanted to be an ER technician.  The hospital eventually laid off all the transporters so I was at square one.  I went to school in 2000 to become a CNA and was disappointed to find out that the hospital wouldn't hire me without CNA experience.  My first CNA job was at a privately ran, poorly staffed nursing home that I grew to love despite it's uncaring nurses, low wages, difficult residents and unsanitary conditions.  I was exposed to TB, now I test positive.  I caught pneumonia and passed out on the job.  I was always sick and I learned quick not to call in with NVD because "we have bathrooms".  I worked hard but had little to show for it, except that I can now say that I have had a full colostomy bag thrown at me.  I took care of some precious people and I loved that part of the job.  I have to say that I did it like a champ.  As a male CNA, I was usually approached for help getting people off the floor, off the toilet and up in bed.  I finally got a call from the big hospital downtown and was offered a job on the orthopedic floor.  I took it.  The work was a step up from the nursing home.  It was still grunt work.  Vital signs q4hrs, turn q4hrs, feed them, help them to the bathroom, I's and O's, coffee for the family, etc (times up to 30 patients).  I did this for a few years, working with cliquey young nurses that got into nursing because of the promise of high wages, but hated doing the work.  There were some other nurses that were amazing, though, and I always enjoyed working with them.  I usually ended up working by myself, covering the whole floor-some thirty patients or more.  I worked nights, though so It wasn't really a big deal.  I managed.  All I wanted was to get in the ER though.  I finally got my chance.  I got a transfer.  I was an ER technician.  They trained me as a phlebotomy and EKG tech plus I got trained in applying a plaster cast, and some other skills.  Then I got to actually perform the job.  I loved it too.  Running to do a STAT EKG, responding to a code blue, drawing labs, running them to the lab, transporting patients to ICU, doing CPR (even though I puked my first time).  I even loved doing the dirty stuff like cleaning the room after a patient was discharged and restocking the supplies, etc.  It was all fun to me.  The problem came, when I was told by a coworker that I need to watch my back because some people there didn't like me.  I never missed a vein, I always drew labs correctly, I was there on time and in a good attitude, I never complained even when I was given more than my fair share of work to do (obviously), I was proactive to empty the dirty laundry bins and clean rooms, even rooms that were not my section, I was always eager to help other techs that needed help and I could do EKGs quickly and get the printout to the doctor, no problem.  I am not sure why anyone would have a problem with me, except that I was different and (of course) fat.  I didn't really fit in with the other people.  They were experienced ER people and extreme sports people and they believed that they had seen it all and didn't have time for noobs like me.  They were saving lives and I was just getting in the way.  After being told that I needed to watch my back, I immediately started looking for another job.  Anyway, the next job I end up getting is with a major cellphone company as a customer service representative.  If you have read any of my old blog posts, you know how that went.  Anyway, the whole point of this post is to inform you that I have finally found my place in a print shop doing bindery work and delivering the finished products.  All in all, it was totally worth it.  All the suffering I did on the job.  It built my character and gave me perspective.  It made me actually enjoy standing in one place while I do nothing but coil bind for an hour.  Bottom line: I am happier than i have been in a long time.

UFO ALIEN

I was you-toobin' it one day early this year and I found a video that had images that startled me.  I am a fan of viewing startling images on google searches and haven't seen it all, but I have probably seen most of it.  I always have searched for alien pictures and stuff and am familiar with most of the fake rubber aliens out there.  A few of the same fakes are all over the internet in you tube videos titled things like
REAL ALIEN
LEAKED ALIEN PIC
ALIENS R REAL BELIEVE!!!!!
REAL ALIEN FOOTAGE
etc.
accompanied by a picture of this prop...

...posed in one fashion or another so as to look like a REAL LEAKED ALIEN PIC.  There are other fake ones I can spot in a hurry.
Never mind the dead SLOTH that people are constantly posting and saying it is a dead alien.  There is also a picture of a dead cat or rat-like creature in a bear-trap that is circulating the web.

I use my intuition when looking at these images.  By intuition, I mean a complex cross-referencing of all the data I have accumulated, in small amounts, about subjects like xenobiology, psychology, anatomy and physiology, UFO myths and folklore, conspiracy theories, new age theology, logic, and much, much more.  One thing I like to tell myself late at night when I have the heebie-jeebies, is that extraterrestrial beings would probably not do things that are creepy and scary to us-things like hide in the dark and make wailing, screeching sounds while clawing on the door.  That is just hollywood and fear-based thinking that makes us expect that.  They wouldn't do things that are gross, sickening and weird either, at least nothing more sickening than us humans do.

Watch this video



More often than not, the fakes are a prop, paper mache or a dead animal.  I don't think this is a prop.  I haven't seen it in any movies nor have I seen in in any search results for ufo, alien, conspiracy or new age subjects.  At all.  The being does not appear to be completely, over-the-top, mind blowingly realistic except for the details on the hand.  If this is a prop, it hasn't been used for anything else and must have been destroyed.



IMAGE 1
 Okay, so what is that thing?  It looks like a space capsule or something.  Where was this taken?  Can't really make heads or tails out of it, but the interesting thing is that the image is of a computer monitor.  Why not the actual image?  Perhaps the person that took the photo did not have access to such an image as this.  I didn't notice this at first, but there are some things blacked out on this picture.  The face of the man on the left is blacked out and whatever he is standing in front of (or whatever is standing in front of him) is blacked out looks like it was done with a marker and not on the image we are looking at, but the one that is on the dell monitor.  I am not sure, but it also looks like something on the bottom right of the screen is blacked out.  Who knows?  Right?  Looks like a green hard hat.

IMAGE 2
Okay, here we go.  Same weird capsule thing.  It appears seamless.  Kind of like a tea kettle, though.  Not too completely strange.  There is another person with their face blacked out.   Green hard hats.  There isn't really any standard color system for hard hat color meanings that I am aware of.  A google search confirms this.

IMAGE 3

No idea what is going on here.  Looks like it was set in concrete.  It also looks like they are trying to contain it or something.  Not sure what the strange looking fence around it is for.  Green, yellow and white hard hats.  not doing construction of anything recognizable.  Lab coats?  Then the hard hat colors might mean something and the green hat wearing guy isn't doing anything but watching, so that goes along with the "green hard hats are for management" system, but managing what?  These photos were probably taken from a smartphone.

IMAGE 4

Okay a separate room with 3 greens and one yellow.  Looks like they are watching some type of indicator or sensor readout or something.  Waiting.  There appears to be a painting on the wall on the right side behind the monitor, but it is only partially visible.  Looks like a building with a logo above it.  A "K" or an "R"?


IMAGE 5

Alright.  This image is a little shocking to me, since the being in the shot isn't one of the rubber alien props I have seen before.  What is it in?  Looks like a tub.  What is the card for and why does it appear so messy?  If this is a hoax, why not make the card more "official" looking?  What was marked out on the original photo?  What was in the tub with the being on the bottom right corner?  Looks like something else was marked out.  I cannot tell if the hand in the photo is gloved or not/human or not.



IMAGE 6

Another image of the being also pictured in IMAGE 5 shows details of the room where this was revealed to the photographer.  Looks like a training room.  I have no clue as to where this is located.  The water bottle on the desk is not one of a brand I am familiar with.  Not sure what the coffee mug says to the far left corner but the emblem is circular and appears to have the last two letters "sa" (nasa?).


IMAGE 7
First off, this appears to be the being's left hand with three long fingers (possibly a thumb) and fingernails that are darker colored.  There appears to be some debris on the creature's hand that looks like some type of growth or maybe a blister.  One of the knuckles appears to be bruised.  The hand is positioned at an angle next to the being's hip that indicates that it's elbow is bent which makes the hands possibly come down closer to the being's knees when standing erect.  The being's hip is more fleshy colored possibly due to the bright light shining down on the hand.  There appears to be a sleeve or a wristband on the being's wrist.  The hand pointing at the screen appears to be human and is perhaps the person who has access to these pictures pointing at the hand and maybe describing some greater detail that is lost through jpeg compression.

I am not going to say this is the real deal, but if it isn't we will probably see a movie with this prop in it some time in the next few years.

Saturday, February 28, 2015

CONTRAILS ARE REAL!


A very funny thing has happened during my lifetime.  I, for one, having always been a little slow for lack of a better word, pretty much grew up in a vacuum-not many friends (none outside of school), I was basically Napoleon Dynamite.

Napoleon daydreams his way through school, doodling ligers and fantasy creatures, and reluctantly deals with the various bullies who torment him, particularly the obnoxious sports jock Don and the selfish, out-of-shape Randy. Napoleon likes to make up stories about himself whilst assuming a sullen and aloof attitude.
Everything that I learned (outside of school) was from old books and encyclopedias.  Old, outdated information written for people from a different age, a different generation.  I read these books over and over.  I read about metaphysics, ufos, the occult, the bible, airplanes, satellites, rockets, guns, the solar system and all that and that was my connection with reality.  Otherwise, I didn't have any connection to the rest of the world until later on.  During those years, I did a lot of thinking about reality.  The internet really did provide quick and easy access to the rest of the world, and I am not talking about email.  I am talking about search engines.  I could read about everything that interested me.  I always wanted to talk about stuff to other people that were of similar interest.  I wanted to talk about it so as to share ideas, learn from each other and challenge my beliefs.  I don't think that this is an unhealthy thing to do, but it sure is hard to find people that also wish to do that.  There are plenty of people that just want to preach.  Pretty soon I got to researching metaphysics, ufos, the occult and everything else I was interested and I absorbed a lot of information.  I copied the text and printed it so tiny it was barely legible and absorbed the information as if it were the truth.  I was pretty naive, early on, because I looked at the internet as a sort of encyclopedia.  If it's on the internet, it must be true, documented facts, right?

I fell victim to many conspiracy theories.  Actually, they are all connected.  If you study ufos long enough you will also find that they are connected with chemtrails and the secret government, which is connected with the illuminati and, of course, the illuminati are responsible for everything bad.  Well, it gets even crazier when you find out that the moon is fake and was put there by reptilian aliens.  It gets crazier still, and I don't even want to revisit some of the crazy things that I used to read about.  I guess I eventually came to the conclusion that it is all crap.  If you can't accept one thing without accepting all of it, throw it all out.  I am not saying that these things are not real, but the perception of these things is very interesting to me.  I believe that the perception of the illuminati as an all powerful force behind the scenes is actually a projection of our pyramid based class system and the real conspiracy is the one we are all in against ourselves.

I began seeing that the conspiracy theories were all coalescing into a sort of religion and I didn't like it.  I didn't trust it.  I began questioning all the big conspiracy acts like Alex Jones, Jesse Ventura and David Icke.  I changed from an attitude of "it is so crazy it has to be real", to an attitude of "this is ridiculous".  I still see contrails, but I certainly don't subscribe to any conspiracy theories about them.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Horror in movies

As always, IMO...
Okay, as usual, I am not any kind of authority on this subject.  I wouldn't call myself a "horror movie buff" or whatever they call themselves nowadays, but I love horror.  My first horror movie was Alien, and I was totally obsessed with it and had the toy.



I was very young and it was on cable.  My mom covered my eyes in some scenes, but I remember that I was intrigued by the "space jockey" grossed out by the "facehugger", bothered that it got into Kane's helmet, afraid to see Kane die horribly and I was really scared of the "chestburster".  We know what it grows up to be, but good lord, "Kane's son" is alarming.









 I think the colors of the facehugger and the chestburster were what got me.  I am not saying that I liked the way that Alien made me feel as a kid, but I was obsessed with it.

I don't know if it was my very young age or what, but no other movie I have watched has had that same effect on me.  Sure I have been freaked out by a few other movies, but not to the level that Alien got me.  Not to the point of obsession.  Aside from my age being a factor, I wonder what else caused this.

Reveal/Know versus Suggest/Imagine
Alien scared me because I only got quick glimpses at the creatures and, there was plenty of screen time before Kane died, there was a lot of time to be puzzled and tension to build up.  I didn't know what to expect.  Ignorance is not bliss (well, ignorance of your own ignorance may be bliss).  Not knowing can be a terrible thing that every single human being can relate to.

The Alien was only fully visible at the end of the movie, but even then, it wasn't clear.  If the creature had looked "man-in-rubber-suit-like", the ending could have ruined it, even if it were not clearly visible, I would have seen a man in a rubber suit.  Great effort was put into making the creature not look or move* that way.
In the rest of the Alien movies, the creatures are not explained scientifically at all.  They are called "facehuggers" and "chestbursters", etc.  There is no mystery, no subtlety to them.  I guess it is a result of marketing ALIENS toys to kids, but that sort of thing ruins it. They are given full display and in some cases, look like a man-in-a-rubber-suit or they look CGI.

I played a little game called Call of Cthulhu for years.  A role playing game set in the 1920's in H.P. Lovecraft's world of ultimate cosmic horror and the fragile human psyche.  We had a lot of fun, but even though we were not being too serious (party of 6 with pizza) there were times when I got a little freaked by the combination of the story that was being told, a brief description of a something my character perceived and the music the keeper (dungeon master) played and not one time did I see a picture of a monster we encountered.  The only picture I had was of my character~a picture that I drew on the character sheet and my imagination.


I think that another reason I became more obsessed with Alien is because the setting, which is set some time in the future.  Is it 50 years?  100 years?  Is America still around?  Are there other, less hazardous life forms in space?  These questions are not addressed by the script, but they are addressed by the crew of the Nostromo's patches, the back stories that were developed for them and the elaborate sets.  The perfect amount of back story was highlighted in the script, just enough to make the characters real and not just an infodump for the writer's vision of the future.  Little information is given that isn't necessary for the story to move forward.  [Believe me, I do know that there is an actual Alien Universe Timeline!]

Artistic license - Biology and Body Horror
I wasn't a good biology student.  I had to dissect a pig fetus brain to get extra credit enough to pass the class, but even I know that you don't just get some goo on your skin and undergo some huge metamorphosis unless the goo is from John Carpenter's "The Thing".  You might catch a disease from contact like that, but your genes are pretty safe, I'd bet.  I am rather ignorant, though so you can sell it to me with a great story, pseudoscience, atmosphere and all that.  Heavy on the pseudoscience and go lightly with the special effects especially if they have to be CGI.  Build it up with tension, big words, character development and such.  Many other ideas seem to stem from a more juvenile, gross-out kind of mentality, which is fine (I have a juvenile side), but it isn't horror; it's pointless, confusing, cheap, schlocky CGI effects at worst and simply pointless, confusing and (especially unintentionally) funny at best.  Either way it turns out, I don't have any desire to watch it a second time and it remains utterly forgettable, unlike Alien was for me.

I just browsed through so many horror movies on Netflix that involve "pretty" people and disease, zombies, being infected, things coming out of people's mouths, rotting flesh and black veins.  People criticize "Alien knockoffs", but there are not nearly many as there are zombie/apocalypse movies involving basically "cooties".  Most viruses just make you sick and maybe kill you.  Viruses don't transform you into something.  They are parasites that use your body to reproduce.  You may spread the virus before you start showing symptoms.  Disease may make someone go insane or act strangely, but the cause, be it a parasite, an infection of some kind, genetic defect, organ failure or whatever it isn't beneficial and it doesn't make you superhuman, able to run, jump or physically assault someone and eat their brains, they weaken and kill you.  I don't want or need to watch movies about people that are dying from a nasty disease unless there is a lot more to the characters.  Another thing about diseases is that they are usually rather slow about killing you.  Of course, not all diseases are slow acting, and some of them can kill you rather suddenly without much warning, but usually this is something like seizures, high fever, coma, heart attack, liver failure or something.  I am probably forgetting something, but I don't care enough to fully research this thought out.  It's just tired.  I am not writing this to criticize zombie films, just to encourage people to maybe try to do something different than: A mutated alien virus changes people into ravenous monochromatic CGI monsters that attack pretty people and give them gory head wounds or infect them with mouth rot, filmed with a shaky camera in poor lighting and the only way they can be killed is with a closeup of their head being shot, actually blown off, split or chopped off.

Another thing i'd like to add about body horror is obsessions with things going inside people's mouths or other orifices and breeding.  I get it, it is not a comfortable thought, but it has been done.  A lot.  Why keep on doing it?  It is just stealing from Alien or an Alien ripoff.  It isn't horror anymore.  It is just kind of gross, especially when it is shown with CGI proboscises squirting eggs into someone.  It's just basically alien porn.  If you must keep making this kind of movie, at least make it funny or something, don't take it seriously and don't expect it to be scary in the least.  It's just a little gross and that's all.  IMO.

The Thing
I didn't watch John Carpenter's "The Thing" until years after it was released on VHS.  I went to "Butch's" "Video Park" to rent This movie.  The scene with the dogs nearly traumatized me in a similar way that the Alien movie did and, although I wasn't exactly obsessed with the movie, it remains in my top 10 at least.  You all probably know that the effects were all practical; there wasn't any computer generated scenes and the biggest trick they pulled on us was some stop motion animation.  Like Tommy Boy, Zoolander, Ace Ventura, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Airplane, Naked Gun and many others, This movie goes from one of my favorite scenes to another.  I can't really pick.  You can pick up on the story of The Thing pretty quickly and arguably, the story is pretty scary: Some people in the arctic find something under the ice that wakes up and takes over people's bodies and absorbs them into it's own body and can mimic any life form it has absorbed.  What makes this story good is the way it is filmed, the awful looking transformations, the creepy mood, the paranoia, pacing, the music, the sound effects, all these play an important part in making the movie work.  If the transformation scenes had been computer generated, the movie would still be good, but personally I think the in camera effects, puppets and makeup are what make it better because their rubberiness, or "fakeness" has a sort of uncanny valley effect that clean "perfect" CGI can't really reproduce IMO.  This makes them look more freaky than if they were perfect computer models of the actor's heads.


Now in the below pictures, you can see a striking difference.  The top picture, from the prequel, is computer generated and the bottom picture is from the defibrillator scene in John Carpenter's The Thing.



The movement of the creatures is much creepier looking with good puppetry.  It just looks like a computer game monster with CGI.  Now, with the prequel, they got the sounds right, they are pretty scary, and the gaping mouth is nasty looking too, but it doesn't look nearly as repulsive as the original work.  The prequel made the creature more beefy, strong and clumsy, while the original made the creatures seem extremely hazardous, but feeble and almost insect like at times, especially with some of their sounds-definitely alien.  The transformation and/or absorbing scenes were also very bloody, drippy and gooey in the original, making them quite sickening.  There were green pustules bursting, pink and yellow dripping slime and other vomit inducing things that really made it horrific to look at.  Disgusting at the very least.  Now it is just a computer game monster.


*An Idea for Alien Movement
Japanese Butoh Dance -  Not sure if it has been looked at for a movie monster's movement style, but it should be if it hasn't.  Imagine a character in a movie becomes obsessed with a mysterious book and unwittingly (or not) summons a spawn from hell (or somewhere else) that comes out of their closet like the dancer in the below video:

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Rebel Minis: My First Order

I received my Rebel Minis in the mail yesterday and am quite pleased with them.  Already, I am sold on using 15mm.  25/28mm is too big to store, chunky looking and they make the battlefield too small.  The 15mm figures I received, pictured below, make the green fleece blanket that I use for terrain actually look like a small ridge and not a load of dirty laundry.  It looks more natural to me and that is without effort.


I purchased the following:
I am very pleased with my purchases.  The groups of figures were bagged separately and packaged in a small box with newspaper stuffing.  This is my first ever purchase of 15mm miniatures and I was a little concerned that they would be too small for these old eyes to work with, but I was pleasantly surprised.  They are small, but highly detailed and I will have no problem painting them.  I look forward to that.  The flash isn't too bad either.  I have seen much worse on 25mm miniatures.

I really like these Earth Force Home Guard figures.  I didn't get the ones with the enclosed helmets, but plan to later.  These figures will require a little clean up and several of them were slightly bent at the ankles which worries me a little because they are smaller than I am used to.  I worried when 25mm sculpts were bent.  Half of these guys arrived not being able to stand, but I expected that.  It was usually the case with miniatures I purchased from Ral Partha many years ago.  No sweat!  Just clean them up with an X-acto knife and straighten them out carefully and slowly.  They were around $10.00.


The German Assault Team looks great and I am really excited get started on them.  My plan was to use them for various teams in skirmish play-testing, so they will be painted differently.  $7.00 for 12 figures that look this great is an awesome deal!

 Of course, I wanted to get some baddies to play-test with as well and I decided that the "armed gunmen" would be great for that.  They actually look a lot better than I was expecting.  They come in 4 different sculpts and I plan on using them like the German Assault Team , painting each one differently and using for various teams.  On my budget, I need to have models that can be used for many purposes.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Beginner DDP yoga class

I finally got back on the saddle again today.  It is very important that you have support and I have 3 great friends to help me stay on this.  We went to a free introductory DDP yoga class today and had a great time.  Hopefully I can offer help to them, but I am the worlds worst at disciplining myself.  I think they will be great accountability partners!

It was more painful than I thought, but not as hard as I thought it would be-the moves came back to me quickly, just a little wobbly.  My biggest problem was muscle cramps.  I get them in my inner thigh, under my ribcage and sometimes in my ankle (the absolute worst!).  A dude there said to drink coconut milk.  I think that is a lovely suggestion.  I have done some reading on cramps and am pretty sure that it is from drinking too much coffee and not enough water, even though I cut out soft drinks and drink lots of water, orange juice and now I am on to drinking green tea.

My ankle will take some time to heal, but I know that I am in the right place for that.  The folks at the DDP yoga facebook page and the teamddpyoga website are very helpful and encouraging if you have any problems doing this.

Eventually I will take those pictures I need to take to be the before pictures.  Some day....

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

TOO BIG TO WIN

I haven't been active lately.  Work has drained me somehow.  DDP yoga was a little too intense for me at my size.  It hurt me too much or I was doing it too hard.  Anyway I was in a lot of pain for a while.  I have little energy and motivation.  My friend recently did a 5K.  Hearing this news semi-motivated me.  He did the couch210K thing.  I had heard about it and was going to start it, but when I experimented with just running, I couldn't take the pain in my legs.  I can handle pain, but this was too much, like something was wrong.  Plus I didn't want to hurt my knees.  I have seen what happens and it isn't pretty.

UPDATE: Good news!  I have figured out that the pain I was dealing with in my legs [and later both ankles] hasn't got anything to do with DDP yoga being too intense.  I am a BIG courier driving a COROLLA.  The only thing I don't really like about the corolla is not enough foot room.  My left knee presses against the door handle contours and my right knee presses into the console.  Without the ample room for my legs, my right ankle takes a beating getting into position to put my foot on the accelerator.

I am still in pain, but aware of what is causing it.  I am looking for another job and looking forward to DDP yoga again.  An old friend of mine is doing quite well with it and is now offering instruction.  Thanks for reading this uninteresting drivel.

Roleplaying versus Wargaming

Wargaming has been around for a very long time, but I believe Chainmail was the first official "roleplaying" game with rules, miniatures and dice. This later became what we all know as D&D and then, later, AD&D, etc.  Many people have stated their opinion about the many editions of ad&d, usually hating one or another to the point that there have been countless other "homebrew" games, some clearly based on ad&d and others featuring totally new rules and backgrounds.
Of the many design elements of ad&d that inspired debate and redesign is combat...COMBAT!  Wasn't D&D a derivative of WARgaming?
Instead of taking ad&d and making it "better", why not take a really good set of wargaming rules and add elements of roleplaying to them to the point that it is geared towards roleplaying but can always fall back on the wargame aspect.  Combat rules include task resolution, action and reaction, resistance and so on.
This is a major reason why I have a hard time designing my RPG. I started with the roleplaying, then went to add the wargaming, but wasn't pleased with the results entirely or they didn't quite fit in with the rest of the rules. I went looking at new wargame rules and sort of reverse engineered RPGs out of those rules, but wasn't happy with those results. Things always got hairy when I went to combine roleplaying with wargaming in one game system.  The two types of games are sort of diametrically opposed. They are like oil and water...at least at a very fundamental level.
Roleplaying is artistic, free, silly at times, creative, social, intellectual and fun. Wargaming is bound by rules, serious, defined by and limited to physics and belief in science, player versus player and there are clear winners and losers. Wargaming is strategic, social and intellectual as well as (depending on the players) silly at times and fun.
The secret has been for me to find the perfect set of wargame rules to base a RPG on that also has room for my mystic power/reality warping rules.

Here is my list of demands:
allows for the belief that anything is possible
allows for reality to be warped in rare circumstances by characters
does not force combat as the only option unless it is
I go, you go piece by piece, NOT like warhammer
d6 only but many dice are okay, just not TOO many maybe max 10 but that is rare...
1d6 per soldier or vehicle
Easy to remember rules
Quick playing combat
Rules that make combat scary and deadly
rules that take terrain and cover seriously
close combat more than just high roll wins it needs more flavor to it to make fantasy battles more tense and colorful-I like Warhammer 40k assaults.
NO HIT POINTS, wounded characters are casualties that may or may not be dead
No skill lists
Character sheet has all you need except dice
Miniatures optional unless it is an actual battlefield
Universal rules
Single roll or as few as possible for task resolution/difficulty and quality of success
Free-form character details that don't feel like they are just tacked onto a wargame piece
really fun vehicle combat, including air and space/orbital
no stealth in space
possibility of different "factions" with their own special rules
activation, initiative and morale in one roll OR more recently, I have considered not at all (see below)

I have looked at:
Kryomek (love the background)
Stargrunt II (love it!)
Force on Force/Tomorrow's War (freaking love it!)
FAD (I may love this more than stargrunt II!)
Jim Wallman's Man at arms (love all his stuff!)
StarWars miniature battles
Beamstrike
VOR: the malestrom
Chainmail
Axis & Allies
Battletech
Aerotech
Full Thrust
Warhammer Fantasy
Warhammer 40k
I know there are others, I just can't think of them

I am currently looking at CROSSFIRE: Company level WWII wargame.
It is a little different and is forcing me to rethink some things that I have simply always taken for granted in roleplaying games AND wargames rules.  This game seems to make you forget about the rules, but I don't think you could call it a rules light game.  I believe that there is GREAT potential for this game to be the one I was looking for.  I'll put it this way... I haven't had a lot of interest in playing WWII games before, even though I wanted the rules to work for WWII games.  After reading only a little about this game, I would love to play WWII.  I have found many homebrew rules for playing Crossfire in the modern era as well as in the future.  Many people love vehicle combat as I do, and have homebrew'd more vehicle rules for Crossfire as well.  It is too early to tell if it will work for my needs, but I'd say this one is great as it stands now.  It is out of print, though, but there may be a new, revised version to come out some time (it is in the works).

Thursday, January 8, 2015

BLURRED LINES: I CAN HAZ UR SEX


I admit the first time I heard it I liked the music but I couldn't hear the lyrics too well I was driving a delivery van at 11pm with the window down. After hearing it a few thousand times I had already decided that the song is not just "rapey". The "fun" dance quality to the music with the lyrical content makes it evil. Other songs about rape seem to indicate that it is wrong or bad and not normal, plus they have an appropriate musical sound. This one creepily makes rape sound like it is natural and fun for all.

 I post this upon watching a YouTube review of this song. I pretty much agree with what the reviewer said only I think I'm a little more bothered than he is. But he hadn't read the YOUTUBE COMMENTS on his video yet.  You know, sometimes I get this sort of spiritual high and an overwhelming feeling of optimism  (I have been called "positive Pete") that lasts pretty much until I happen to read internet people speaking their minds about stuff. Well, I have lost that optimistic outlook this morning. I read just a few comments about the review saying that the song isn't "rapey".  Apparently, if a girl says no, she really doesn't mean no, she just wants to be chased. She means yes. She likes the attention. She really wants to put out for you. If you keep on forcing yourself on her she will eventually give in.

It could never be that she just likes music and dancing (only fun at home in movies) and wants to have a night with her friends. It could never be that she finally thinks that you must be genuine because you are trying so hard.  You must really want to be her man and possibly marry her.
I get it. Some people have nothing else going for them but to rape girls, but do we need to encourage it? Someone clearly does since this garbage has been shoved down our throats repeatedly.  It hurts!  Someone make it stop.

Everybody get up  ooh  Everybody get up  ooh  Hey, hey, hey   Hey, hey, hey   Hey, hey, hey
Okay, we're up.  What do you want?  Horses eat hay!
If you can't hear what I'm trying to say   If you can't read from the same page   Maybe I'm going deaf,    maybe I'm going blind   Maybe I'm out of my mind
Just because someone brushes you off doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you.  Just because some dude doesn't want to be talked to doesn't mean that you are a dirt bag.  If the dude says "I am not in the mood to talk, bro", you leave the dude alone.  You understand that this dude isn't in a mood to be sociable with just anyone right now.  You respect that.  He just doesn't want to talk now.  The same is true for if a girl doesn't want to talk to you.  Well, you are a dirt bag if you keep on trying.  It isn't that you are deaf.  It isn't that you are blind (I assume this means blind to the visual ques that she doesn't want any from you) or out of your mind.  You have one thing on your mind and you will not take no for an answer.  No you aren't crazy.  She simply doesn't want none...at least from you...at least not now.
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate youBut you're an animal, baby it's in your natureJust let me liberate youHey, hey, heyYou don't need no papersHey, hey, heyThat man is not your makerAnd that's why I'm gon' take a good girl
I assume, from the perspective of the singer/songwriter that he has at least had a conversation with the girl the song is about, long enough to know that she was in a serious relationship with another guy and that things went sour.  He equates her with a caged animal needing to be "liberated", then talks about "papers"(not married and doesn't need a divorce?) and "That man is not your maker".  I can only assume that means that she wasn't dating her dad, god or jesus(?).  So, since she isn't with that man, the singer/songwriter is "gon' TAKE a good girl".  I'm not sure why these qualities make her a "good girl".
1.) She is single
2.) She has been saying NO and giving visual ques that she isn't interested.  All signs that he chooses to ignore.
I know you want it I know you want it I know you want it You're a good girl
So single girls that are not interested and show that they are not interested are "good girls".  The singer/songwriter must be a "bad boy".  Good girls like bad boys.
Can't let it get past me  You're far from plastic  Talk about gettin blasted  I hate these blurred lines
So he notices that you are "real" and not a phony.  That can mean different things to different people, but I'm not sure what he means with "gettin blasted".  I can imagine that it is intended to have dual meanings or something and that it sounds provocative...high art.  Here we have it: "I HATE THESE BLURRED LINES".  Nothing in the song indicates that she said "no" with a smile and a wink while looking at his crotch or whispering in his ear "if you want me you'll have to come get me".  The song says that she brushes him off.  Brushing off isn't an open invitation and it doesn't mean yes.  At best it is being nice and not bitchy while telling a guy "no thanks, but thanks for asking, you made me feel good about myself" and at worst it is a smack in the face for being a dirt bag.
I know you want itI know you want itI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me
Okay, so they danced and she "grabbed" him.  I would say that if she "grabbed" his crotch, the song wouldn't have been written, so interpreting "grabbed" as in holding someone like you would while dancing in a club.  That could mean lots of things, but the club dancing I have seen in my po-dunk little town has looked pretty dirty, so I can understand if the guy was dancing with a chick and she is dirty dancing with him that he'd be horny.  But here, the singer/songwriter thinks that dancing like that means that the girl wants to "get nasty" (do "it"?).  According to him, she can barely keep from just doing the guy right there on the dance floor.  We ALL know that dancing isn't what it used to be.
What do they make dreams forWhen you got them jeans onWhat do we need steam forYou the hottest gal that In the placeI feel so luckyHey, hey, heyYou wanna hug meHey, hey, heyWhat rhymes with hug me?Hey, hey, heykiss meheyheyhey
That's a nice comment about a girl wearing jeans and about how she's the hottest girl there.  I'll admit.  Paying a complement is a good thing, but then he just gets lazy with the lyrics.  What girl doesn't like a guy goin' "HEY!" at her repeatedly?  "I feel so lucky"-yeah lucky she hasn't smacked your face for continuing to proposition her for sex.
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate youBut you're an animal, baby it's in your natureJust let me liberate youHey, hey, heyYou don't need no papersHey, hey, heyThan man is not your makerHey, hey, heyAnd that's why I'm gon' take a good girlI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itYou're a good girlCan't let it get past meYou're far from plasticTalk about gettin blastedI hate these blurred linesI know you want itI hate them linesI know you want itI hate them linesI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me
Copy/Paste + "I hate them lines"
One thing I ask youLet me be the one you back that ass into
Classic.
Yo, from Malibu, to Paris boYeah, had a bitch, but she ain't bad as youSo hit me up when you passing throughI'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two
Here she is called a "bitch".  I understand this word isn't always bad, but the use of it here in a pop song that lots of people will be dancing to is inappropriate since not everyone feels that way.  The singer/songwriter says he has been with a girl before, in fact he has "had" one which I can only assume means that he has had sex with one (based on this song's content it was probably rape too), and the compliment here is that the girl he had before isn't as attractive as she is (they never are).  I guess that could be a nice thing to say, but why not say something like "I didn't know there could be anyone out there as pretty as you are to me" (I wasn't even trying on that).  Now, here comes the part that makes me feel gross.  He says next time you are in town or whatever, stop by my place and I'll do you with my enormous dong.  Unless he's talking about literally tearing her ass in two with something else big(?).  That sounds more like a threat, but at least it is simply an invitation and not begging, but this is just the point in the song where, I mean they already repeated almost the whole thing, the next point is that the singer/songwriter has a big d.  What girl doesn't dream of that?  All these things are being danced to by little kids.  Just saying.  Don't forget, also, that the singer/songwriter hates "them lines" and says that they are blurred, meaning "I CAN HAZ UR SEX".
Swag on, even when you dress casualI mean it's almost unbearableIn a hundred years not dare would I, from a far sidelet you pass me by.
I guess this isn't a bad thing to say.  It's kind of nice actually.  "you look nice even in sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt! How could I resist?"
Nothing like your last guy, he too square for youHe don't smack that ass and pull your hair like thatSo I, just watch and wait for you to salute and choose this pimp'Im a nice guy, but don't get if confused, this pimpin'
Now we are getting back to the sinister stuff.  I am not a prude and I "get" the appeal of rough sex (It makes you feel like you are strong and virile and manly if you are a guy, and I guess it has a similar feel for women...?), but to assume that a girl wants rough sex when you aren't in a relationship with her is pretty sick.  Also, it is made clear (upon close inspection) that this isn't a guy wanting a relationship.  He is pimpin'.  At least here, he says that he's waiting to be given the clearance first.  The important thing, though is the title of the track is blurred lines.  The guy doesn't seem to know when she's saying no, how's he gonna know when she says yes?  She probably won't say yes and he'll just wait till she is alone and just rape her.  What is a salute anyway?  Is that a nod?  Is it a smile?  Speaking to you?  I know this guy isn't an officer in the US ARMED FORCES, so if you are going to talk about "blurred lines", then you should be more clear about what YOU mean.  Are you going to rape a girl when she looks at you and smiles or shakes your hand or literally gives you a salute?  Does that mean that you will rape her if she gives you a "stiffy"?
Shake the vibe, get down, get upDo it like it hurt, like it hurt, does it hurt, does it hurtWhat you don't like work
This is just plain awful.  I assume this is either in his imagination or he is actually raping her now.  She may have had a momentary lapse of judgement or something, who knows.  Now he's doing things that might hurt her (tearing her ass in two?) and things (work) that she seems to be expressing that she doesn't like.
Baby can you breathe? I got this from JamaicaIt always works for me Dakota to Decatur, uh huhNo more pretendingHey, hey, heyCause now you winningHey, hey, heyHere's our beginning
Okay at this point, they are finished or at least he is finished.  Not sure, but it seems like the reference is to weed or something, I mean what did he get from Jamaica that always works for him?  So she got free weed out of all this and she should be grateful ("Cause now you winning").  I am not sure why the singer/songwriter says "here's our beginning" AFTER he has raped her.  Maybe he means that she is his ho, after all he said earlier that he was only pimpin'.  She would have to be made of plastic and not have feelings to want to be in a relationship with someone that wants to hurt her with his big d, but hey, crazier things have happened.  Right?  I mean, really.  He did say he was a nice guy and all.
I always wanted a good girlI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itYou're a good girlCan't let it get past meYou're far from plasticTalk about gettin blastedI hate these blurred linesI know you want itI know you want itI know you want itBut you're a good girlThe way you grab meMust wanna get nastyGo ahead, get at me
Everybody get upEverybody get upHey, hey, heyHey, hey, heyHey, hey, hey
Copy/Paste.  Drag it on out.  Now it is out there.  Flying though the universe.  Some advanced alien species will some day hear this and be very afraid of life in the galaxy.  They may even come searching for us to destroy our civilization.  Jeez-us, good riddance.  Anyway, that's it: Blurred Lines.  I even hate the name of that song. It should be called "no means yes" or "I want to rape you" or "I love myself so much I must be god so as an omnipotent being I now rape you and you like it".

I'll end this by saying that it isn't blurred lines and it isn't mixed signals. 
Even "maybe" means
NO!