This old man came rolling home

I probably broke my ankle as I slipped on the wet grass on the dark side of the hill. No one was there to see me, but I can assure you I let out quite a tremendous sound. I did laugh for a moment, but the laughing ceased when I felt my left ankle crush under my ass just before I careened down the hill. In a short leg splint now. Awaiting my PHP to call me back. The Urgent care X-Ray was not readable because of the swelling so they said I need to follow up with them. Crutches. Splint. Pain meds. Pain. Questions. At least I have Jennifer, who has really stepped up to take care of me. I am one lucky guy! Except for the fact that I fell down the hill and all.

2 sugarloafs to go!

last weigh in on saturday: 360 even. Over the plateau now, but just slow a-goin'. Still a-goin' though, just not ready for a picture yet. I will post one when I am at 350, so get ready! I just broke my ankle this past monday. It hurts and eating does nothing for the pain, so I am sure to lose quite a bit more in the next few weeks. I will keep in touch more often, I promise.

Fuzzy blue crayon world

I have discovered the intro to my composition "fuzzy blue crayon world" this morning. The song is somber and melancholic but strangely uplifting. It is warm and chilling at the same time. I have always like the composition. No lyrics at all for it yet. Only the melody. Intended to be very textural, but as I play it clean with an echo, It sounds perfect. Perhaps a little chorus to make it a little more warbly (is that a word?). Maybe not. The TS9X sounds a bit much so the Grunge is out of the question. Clean seems too pristine, though. I'l have to try some of the processers I have for the perfect "Overdrive" sound. I'll post what I record soon enough. Maybe I'll meet up with some peeps that want to work together on this to make it into something more...

I need an asprin

This is where I vent my frustrations

so here the fuck goes...

I am so god damn sick of my fucking job, I am not thinking clearly. How can you go from loving it to hating it so abruptly? It is because of the fucking management.

Lets start from the beginning. I worked at a hospital in the ER. Loved the job, but not enough money and the insurance was crappy. I was lured to my current company because the facility was new and the pay was really good. Much better than I was making at the hospital even after 4 years of service there. I was lured by the bonuses, discounts and rewards. I was convinced this was a good company to work for. I made a list of the pros and cons for changing my job and decided to leave the hospital. The training was tough but they made it fun. In retrospect, I see now that HR simply makes EVERYTHING into a huge ordeal, overcomplicating everything just so, as it would seem, they have job security. I have no real problem with this, it is just irritating sometimes when you deal with people in HR that are moody and won't go out of there way to help you at all. This is just an observation.

The problem I then found after a year of service is that their expectations are hard to meet. The bonuses I spoke of are non-existent if you do not meet their expectations. No raises, no extra pay for sales, nothing. You are not elligible for the bonuses if you do not meet their expectations. In the first year, changes were made that I could easily adapt to because I had just learned another way to do it and they changed it. What happens is when you have a year or more experience doing something one way and they change policy and either don't warn you at all (expecting you to read it in their database before work) or they give you a rundown of the changes in a team meeting and expect that to be the only time that you need to be explained the changes. Hand you some paperwork, get you to sign a sheet. Watch a video starring some special representatives that don't actually do the job tell you how to do your job and then go back to the phones, rushing to make sure you are compliant with their schedule.

(It is like the company is ran by a bunch of people that do not want to do their job when a mouse-click could fix any problem, being decent could, talking with someone could, a phone call, etc.)

There has been so many changes in policy lately that I don't even know how to do my job. We are so micromanaged that I cannot seem to get one statistic, score or whatever to be what they consider good or at an acceptable level. As soon as I do, Mutherfuckers change the god damn policy again. I cannot express to you (the reader) how frustrating it is to me after putting in almost 3 years of my life and my fucking soul into this. I had all the big expectations in myself to do a good job and balance [juggle] my metrics balance CE and O (Customers, Employees and Owners) until I was promoted. I have NEVER met their expectations. Instead, I spend ALL of my energy trying to please them in one area only to neglect another area. When this is done, and IF I do a better job or show a sign of improvement, the want to stress me out about the other stat. I am NEVER good enough. This is a poor way to treat employees and a poor way to treat people.
We are being told to be the manager, yet questioned when we make command decisions because it does not follow policy that is hidden deep in the database of all the policies, which by their own admission is often redundant and poorly organized, but I'd like to add inefficient, constantly updated, hard to look at, poorly named links that are often to dead ends as far as policy goes or references to policies that are for other departments and my theory that it was built solely for the HR department to have something to teach for 4 weeks. We are told to right fit our customer's to the correct rate plans and features, but this only means to sell Data features to people that don't want them. We are encouraged to sell and discouraged to remove the features. What happens is those of us that "right fit" customers so they save money, we don't add expensive data features. Then we end up deleting the data features that other (less scrupulous) reps add to other accounts. This looks like we are not doing their job when we are the ones that are looking out for the customer which is in the spirit of the whole "right fitting " policy. The company can make all kinds of changes to battle the poor economy when it makes Billions of dollars and when we are assisting customers while they battle the poor economy, we get penalized. That is a load of bullshit. I hate this word, but it is completely unfair. I have to wonder who is running this thing? Not someone that is truly balancing CE and O for sure. Not someone that cares about the customer's right fitting and not someone that cares for this to be the most highly regarded service company nor the best place to work.

We are expected to follow totally new policies that were barely brushed over in a 30 min training class between calls as our workload increases because of the new training. More types of calls, more tools to use (Tools that don't work) and more that can be done on a single call all end up hurting call time.

Whoa, don't get me started on transfers. We are penalized for transferring a customer to another department. Period. They will overlook it if, in hindsight and looking through the notes on the account etc. etc. etc. they see that the issue was taken care of and we were not able to do it ourselves. Even to the point of searching deep in the database of policies to find a reason. We are penalized and I personally am sent a distracting little outlook e-mail that says as the heading "improper transfer" which, when I see it, I loose my concentration on the call I am on and get a little frustrated.

So, lets see here...

Take that rude, impatient, irresponsible, ignorant, mumbling-then-screaming, disrespectful and argumentative hot-headed person's call transferred to you by the totally f'd IVR into one of several poorly defined queue's of reps that may or may not have received proper training, keep the call time below 330 seconds, right fit EVERY customer, make sure the customer is not paying for features they don't need (except for data features), address the customer's initial reason for calling (which could literally be anything under the sun from simple how to's which we are to tack on some upselling during to legal matters, ridiculously high bills ($1000 and up), rebates, exchanges, missing exchanges, ups delivery errors, Different policies for very similar situations, # changes, etc, etc, etc, unbelievably complicated proceedures with troubleshooting or missing orders/payments etc. etc. which we are to tack on some upselling during as well, show courtesy, and concern, sense of urgency, no hold, memo the account while you are talking to the customer and actively listening to customer and asking probing questions, Make sure to offer customer self help options, no credits, no supervisors (your the supervisor [except you are not really]) don't transfer to another department even if you are poorly trained to address the customer's needs, and hope the customer does not call back within 72 hours so it does not affect your one call resolution". Also don't end the call before the account is properly memo'd. If it's not, when supervisors go back to check on your work and they don't see anything in your notes, you could get penalized and most importantly, do NOT utilize the "After Call Work" tool to memo an account.

I would hate to talk to someone that is worrying about all this while they are trying to help me. They would have to sound like they are constipated!

I could go on and at this point I think I have vented enough. My fingers are sore. God I hate this Fucking Job tonight. Well, tomorrows another day. Let's just see what happens...

You guessed it.

You may have guessed already. I am working on a new project today. I am letting this one rest for a week or two, so stay tuned!

WTF, YA RLY, OMG, PWNAGE

Just wanted to say that I RLY H8 Internet slang. I hate it so much, unfortunately, that I don't even care about where it originated in the first place. I just plain don't like it. I am not a hateful person and I don't have any reason to hate it except that it is just not cool to me. I am all blogging this and moging and podcasting and uploading and all this crap. It just makes me tired in my head. Too much stuff for computers and internet to be bogged down with. Unsupervised kids running websites and other shit really gets on my nerves. I guess this is what it is, the younger generations embracing the technology and that is cool. I fucking hate the younger generations sense of entitlement and their lack of respect. I deal with too many 20 year olds that think they are mature, intelligent and responsible as they use their credit cards for buying piece of shit phones for $500 a pop and bitch because their bills are too high. Not every one of these little punk ass kids is rude and overprivledged, but most are. This does not mean that I hate them and want them to die, I just want them to shut up and listen till they learn that they don't know shit and that they will never know shit. Then need stuff their mouths with some fucking humble pie and not talk with their mouth full. If they would stop trying to be a fucking ROCK STAR, they would really see that life is a much more beautiful thing and that there is no need for this competition to be better than anyone else or to be some kind of a big shot personality. Indeed, I think that this is what we should be fighting against anyway. Being some kind of big personality. I am sorry for saying hate so many times here, but I will not delete any of it because this goes against the whole theme of my blog here. I will flat out tell you here where I will never tell you anywhere else. I do love these people and I am trying to understand them, but I find it hard sometimes. Sorry about the language in this one too. I am sleepy and cannot sleep because I am hot or cold and the dogs are in the bed too. I don't like to sleep with them sometimes because they like to lay horizontally in the bed in uncomfortable places for my body, especially my knees and my elbows. Now you know a little more about me.
Sati sassy britches doesn't like it either!

She gonna come kick yass an she gon whoop it yall, straight up now, y'hear?

WTF am I saying. I guess I kind of understand now why internet slang is used, beacause it is easier to type WTF than what the fuck and since some people say "What the Fuck" a lot, this is useful. My mind works pretty fast and it is hard for my little sausage fingers to keep up with my thoughts here, so I should come up with some more of these little internet slang Acronyms. Hmmm...

TALOFS - That's a load of fucking shit

FUTNFUNTMT - Fuck you that's not fair, you never told me that

WWSPTSC - Why would someone post that stupid comment

UYFSCA - Use your fucking spell checker asshole

UHNIWURTA - You have no idea what you are talking about

NOCWUH2SBYRATAPAAD - No one cares what you have to say because you are a tool, a poser and a douchebag

QPYSCBTRSARAN1CWUH2S - Quit posting your stupid comments because they are rude and no one cares what you have to say

WCYJTIFWIIANT2CMO - Why can't you just take it for what it is and not try to convince me otherwise

AYFKM - Are you fucking kidding me?

IG2PYESOOYB - I'm going to pull your endocrine system out of your body

UN2SYMFP - You need to shut your mouth fucking piehole

IASFAYCNK - I am so fucking awesome you could never know

IGWIWANCSM - I get what ever I want and nothing can stop me

MCCIMO - My Credit Card is maxed out

INPT - I'm not paying that

MDBTFM - My Daddy bought this for me

YBGOOMWCIROYAIMOGSUVWISATOMCITRWMHO - You better get out of my way cause I'll run over your ass in my oversized gift SUV while I'm smoking and talking on my cellphone in the rain without my headlights on.

ILY - I love you.

OITNG - Okay, I'm sleepy now goodnight

Well, I tell'ya what...

I recorded last night while Jennifer was at work. The storms were severe and she had to go to the office.









I had cords stretched all over the living room. The dogs slept. I had some problems and so it was after a million takes that I even got close to a decent recording volume and a million more before I came close to the actual sound I was trying to record. I hate using computers, except that editing is easier. Sometimes the ease in which it can be edited bothers me too. Usually, though, that is when I am listening to something on the radio. Well It is done now and it sounds OK. The recording here was done in one take, which is what I prefer to do when recording. My wife had agreed to assist me with the composition of this song and I was planning on creating a piece with some structure. This changed during the recording process. I was overwhelmed with the need to just wing it and so, I did. I am pleased with the results, but the track is not completed, because I am going to mix in some processed drums from my groove box. God I love tap tempo delay. This has changed everything for me. My XXD has it but you have to turn it on by holding the pedal down for 2 seconds. I find this difficult to do and so the Echo Park I use is perfect. Before I even discovered this rhythm, I had synced the delay to my little keyboard's drum machine at 120 BPM. Now it all went together perfectly. I like a slower tempo, but this song and the texture I created needed a little more spunk. I am not going to upload the recording yet, but you can see it here...

As you can see the ending looks a little intense. It was. It was something new and it felt good to me (which generally means it was not something that sounded all pretty). It reflected my mood of intensity, anticipation, regret, isolation and cynicism. Jennifer found out at the last minute she needed to go in across town and in the heat of the moment and the height of the storms fury, we had words. This was made up for on both sides, but the feelings lingered in the apartment till I ran them off with this recording. The level is a bit high, but this will be fixed later. I wanted it to have a slight computerized burn to it so I recorded it at a pretty high volume. I am pleased overall, but would have liked the playing to have been a bit more tight with some of the muted parts and one thing I did not like at all was the sound of the higher notes thru the computer. It sounded like it didn't belong, so when you are listening to it later (if you listen) notice how, towards the end, I start going up to another pitch (on the high e string) and only play it once. I decided to keep on recording just to see how it sounded later and after listening to the whole peice a few times, I don't mind that so much anymore. Perhaps this "Bad" note is what influenced the ending to be a bit more intense than what I had originally intended. Overall track length is 444 seconds.

It will eventually be posted here, here, HERE and HERE.

...

Are you excited? I bet you cant wait to hear it. Oh, well. There's always tonight. Sorry for the delay, if you do care. Thanks for reading if that's the case. Your patience will pay off very soon. I promise it's not that good, but it's alright. T'would be great for some scene in a thriller or some shit.

The A-10 Thunderbolt II "Warthog"

The A-10 was the result of the U.S. Air Forces need of an aircraft to fit the close air support (CAS) role, one capable of a high degree of manuverability at low speeds and low altitudes plus be able to survive the small arms fire it would inevitably take while doing so. One of the requirements for this role was a massive cannon to take out heavily armored ground targets, so it was literally designed around the General Electric GAU-8/A "Avenger", a 30 mm hydraulically-driven seven-barrel Gatling-type rotary cannon, which is to this date, still the heaviest rotary cannon ever mounted on an aircraft.

Images clockwise from top left: 1.) Size comparison of the A-10's main armament with a Volkswagen Beetle. 2.) 30mm round. 3.) The A-10 earned it's reputation as a tank killer in the Gulf War, where it destroied more than 900 Iraqi tanks.

Flying at low altitudes at slow speeds, the A-10's job duties place it in danger from small arms fire and was designed with this in mind. To protect the pilot, the aircraft is equipped with a titanium armored cockpit which can protect the pilot from a direct hit from projectiles up to 37mm in diameter. Even the canopy is made of bulletproof glass with a windscreen able to withstand a 23mm projectile hit. With triple redundant flight control systems the A-10 is sure to make it back home even after a serious hit.

Major Kim Reed-Campbell was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for piloting her heavily damaged A-10 back to base in southern Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom.

"We did our job with the guys there on the ground, and as we were on our way out is when I felt the jet get hit. It was pretty obvious — it was loud... I lost all hydraulics instantaneously, and the jet rolled left and pointed toward the ground, which was an uncomfortable feeling over Baghdad...there was no way I wanted to eject over Baghdad...". She tried several proceedures to regain control of her aircraft and finally, upon switching the plane to manual reversion mode, she was able to pull her aircraft's nose up. "The jet was performing exceptionally well. I had no doubt in my mind I was going to land that airplane."
April 7th 2003 - Major Kim Reed-Campbell


A closer look at the damage her aircraft sustained.

Having been designed specifically for the role of CAS, the A-10 is a perfect example of function over form, earning the unofficial nickname of "Warthog" due to it's less than sleek appearance. With it's proven tank killing abilities, the A-10 Thunderbolt II has been relied on time after time to get the job done efficiently ever since it's introduction in 1976. This amazing aircraft is scheduled to be replaced by the Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II. Already, 5 A-10 squadrons are on the chopping block in 2012...and my heart breaks.

GOD what an awful day. I want to drain you of your energy so read this and I will feel better now. Thank you!

No tas moker

Well, i can now say with confidence that I am truly not a smoker anymore. I had the worst day. I work in customer care for a cell phone company and the people were FOUL. Hearing my cubicle neighbors with their fake laughs and their "how may I helpio?" crap. I have to say that after a shift like that I almost want to break into a pawn shop, steal some gunzandammo and... well. Let's just say that the world is lucky I live 5 min from work and there are no pawn shops close by. Leaving work, all the smokers were venting about their bad day and I listened for a moment. Not only did the smoke make me sick, but I didn't have one urge to bum one, I didn't even think about it. I just laughed and walked off. I didn't realize it till I got to my car and I thought I would share! It is possible to quit smoking completely. You just have to want it. Or rather not want it.

Just too busy lately...

Well, I am off tonight and I will be able to record something. I am going to do some major cleaning and discarding crap I don't need after I sample it, of course. I have a lot of noise makers and other junk to get rid of. This will be a lot of fun. When I get to it. After I record tomorrow morning.

Still here!

Just to let you know I am still at it. I have not lost enough to take a good pic yet, but I am still at it! Very soon you will see some posted pictures.

Hacking?

I had a dream. I dreamed (dreamt) that I smoked a cig. It was enjoyable too. I could smell it in my dream. It smelled good. I had this dream because as I was leaving work last night, I walked past the smoke shack and there were like 5 people there smoking. The smell made my body ache instantly and I felt like I was going to throw up. The question (and it is rhetorical) is why would I dream about it being pleasurable.

Out of time

Well, I didn't get to record, but I still have everything set up, so I shall do so tomorrow evening.

Sicko

Done some experimenting yesterday and planning on some recording tonight. Called in, did'nt go to work because of my anxiety level. This has got to stop, but not sure how to stop it. Something's got to give! So far seems like it has been my sanity.

Playing strat>ts9x>PM7>Pulsar>Echo Park>XDD>Amp.

I got this strange rythmic texture when playing prepared guitar thru these effects. It sounds like I feel. I intend to record this tonight and mix in some filtered drums from an old keyboard. I expect it to sound cinematic like a lot of my other stuff. Not really a "Song". No lyrics for it.

Smoke Eat

Well. Tobacco is a weird plant. You can't really do other things with it. You can't put it in a pie or a stew. That would just plain taste awful. Disgusting, actually. All you can do is smoke it, chew it, or dip it or snuff it. There is another plant that can be used for other things + it can be smoked too. This is so interesting to me. Weed is what I am talking about. This plant is so useful.

Here it iz

PDF Project file

TIM ESCOBEDO'S SITE

Listen to the T.M.K.!

FUZZYNUTZ like a kitty.

I have been working on the freaking TMK project for so long now. I have dreams about it working, not working, making funny noises, making loud noises, coming alive and cutting my fingers off. I am ready to say screw the small PCB and all the bullshit and just pin them to a 2x4 old school fashion. Might as well, cause with 6 knobs, it will need to be tweaked a lot because of it's naughtiness. I plan on using it on the top rack anyway, so why does it need to be in pedal form anyway? It doesn't, so I will put it in a wooden box or something. I guess. Here's a video of it...

I've been recording a lot lately...

I really hate recording onto the computer. I hate how it lags and I hate all the words. I just want it to be simple. Plug in an instrument, Play thru and hear it on the same speakers and record and then record another track over it without any drag and hear the other track and what I am playing thru the same speakers on the computer and without all the complicated effects, just the usual reverb and such. EASY to use all the way through. When thru recording, just click a mouse to fix any mistakes or to copy and paste like in acid and even add other wav file/drum loops to it. Click a mouse to save it and convert it to mp3 and finally to burn it to disk. No freaking thousands of amps and guitars and pedals to choose from, just whatever you plug in. Maybe the input device with a preamp could be wireless. That would be great. Most importantly, it needs to be CHEAP or even FREE. Just need ANY input device to work. The wireless one is just tops. I would like to see a processer that is worn on the arm like the predator's computer. Just plug into guitar and Guitar to amp and it has all kind of effects on it. Just an idea I have had for a while. No more tapdancing.