I need an asprin

This is where I vent my frustrations

so here the fuck goes...

I am so god damn sick of my fucking job, I am not thinking clearly. How can you go from loving it to hating it so abruptly? It is because of the fucking management.

Lets start from the beginning. I worked at a hospital in the ER. Loved the job, but not enough money and the insurance was crappy. I was lured to my current company because the facility was new and the pay was really good. Much better than I was making at the hospital even after 4 years of service there. I was lured by the bonuses, discounts and rewards. I was convinced this was a good company to work for. I made a list of the pros and cons for changing my job and decided to leave the hospital. The training was tough but they made it fun. In retrospect, I see now that HR simply makes EVERYTHING into a huge ordeal, overcomplicating everything just so, as it would seem, they have job security. I have no real problem with this, it is just irritating sometimes when you deal with people in HR that are moody and won't go out of there way to help you at all. This is just an observation.

The problem I then found after a year of service is that their expectations are hard to meet. The bonuses I spoke of are non-existent if you do not meet their expectations. No raises, no extra pay for sales, nothing. You are not elligible for the bonuses if you do not meet their expectations. In the first year, changes were made that I could easily adapt to because I had just learned another way to do it and they changed it. What happens is when you have a year or more experience doing something one way and they change policy and either don't warn you at all (expecting you to read it in their database before work) or they give you a rundown of the changes in a team meeting and expect that to be the only time that you need to be explained the changes. Hand you some paperwork, get you to sign a sheet. Watch a video starring some special representatives that don't actually do the job tell you how to do your job and then go back to the phones, rushing to make sure you are compliant with their schedule.

(It is like the company is ran by a bunch of people that do not want to do their job when a mouse-click could fix any problem, being decent could, talking with someone could, a phone call, etc.)

There has been so many changes in policy lately that I don't even know how to do my job. We are so micromanaged that I cannot seem to get one statistic, score or whatever to be what they consider good or at an acceptable level. As soon as I do, Mutherfuckers change the god damn policy again. I cannot express to you (the reader) how frustrating it is to me after putting in almost 3 years of my life and my fucking soul into this. I had all the big expectations in myself to do a good job and balance [juggle] my metrics balance CE and O (Customers, Employees and Owners) until I was promoted. I have NEVER met their expectations. Instead, I spend ALL of my energy trying to please them in one area only to neglect another area. When this is done, and IF I do a better job or show a sign of improvement, the want to stress me out about the other stat. I am NEVER good enough. This is a poor way to treat employees and a poor way to treat people.
We are being told to be the manager, yet questioned when we make command decisions because it does not follow policy that is hidden deep in the database of all the policies, which by their own admission is often redundant and poorly organized, but I'd like to add inefficient, constantly updated, hard to look at, poorly named links that are often to dead ends as far as policy goes or references to policies that are for other departments and my theory that it was built solely for the HR department to have something to teach for 4 weeks. We are told to right fit our customer's to the correct rate plans and features, but this only means to sell Data features to people that don't want them. We are encouraged to sell and discouraged to remove the features. What happens is those of us that "right fit" customers so they save money, we don't add expensive data features. Then we end up deleting the data features that other (less scrupulous) reps add to other accounts. This looks like we are not doing their job when we are the ones that are looking out for the customer which is in the spirit of the whole "right fitting " policy. The company can make all kinds of changes to battle the poor economy when it makes Billions of dollars and when we are assisting customers while they battle the poor economy, we get penalized. That is a load of bullshit. I hate this word, but it is completely unfair. I have to wonder who is running this thing? Not someone that is truly balancing CE and O for sure. Not someone that cares about the customer's right fitting and not someone that cares for this to be the most highly regarded service company nor the best place to work.

We are expected to follow totally new policies that were barely brushed over in a 30 min training class between calls as our workload increases because of the new training. More types of calls, more tools to use (Tools that don't work) and more that can be done on a single call all end up hurting call time.

Whoa, don't get me started on transfers. We are penalized for transferring a customer to another department. Period. They will overlook it if, in hindsight and looking through the notes on the account etc. etc. etc. they see that the issue was taken care of and we were not able to do it ourselves. Even to the point of searching deep in the database of policies to find a reason. We are penalized and I personally am sent a distracting little outlook e-mail that says as the heading "improper transfer" which, when I see it, I loose my concentration on the call I am on and get a little frustrated.

So, lets see here...

Take that rude, impatient, irresponsible, ignorant, mumbling-then-screaming, disrespectful and argumentative hot-headed person's call transferred to you by the totally f'd IVR into one of several poorly defined queue's of reps that may or may not have received proper training, keep the call time below 330 seconds, right fit EVERY customer, make sure the customer is not paying for features they don't need (except for data features), address the customer's initial reason for calling (which could literally be anything under the sun from simple how to's which we are to tack on some upselling during to legal matters, ridiculously high bills ($1000 and up), rebates, exchanges, missing exchanges, ups delivery errors, Different policies for very similar situations, # changes, etc, etc, etc, unbelievably complicated proceedures with troubleshooting or missing orders/payments etc. etc. which we are to tack on some upselling during as well, show courtesy, and concern, sense of urgency, no hold, memo the account while you are talking to the customer and actively listening to customer and asking probing questions, Make sure to offer customer self help options, no credits, no supervisors (your the supervisor [except you are not really]) don't transfer to another department even if you are poorly trained to address the customer's needs, and hope the customer does not call back within 72 hours so it does not affect your one call resolution". Also don't end the call before the account is properly memo'd. If it's not, when supervisors go back to check on your work and they don't see anything in your notes, you could get penalized and most importantly, do NOT utilize the "After Call Work" tool to memo an account.

I would hate to talk to someone that is worrying about all this while they are trying to help me. They would have to sound like they are constipated!

I could go on and at this point I think I have vented enough. My fingers are sore. God I hate this Fucking Job tonight. Well, tomorrows another day. Let's just see what happens...